Friday, September 30, 2011
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Mobley Road Has Washed Out.
It has come to light that the bridge on Mobley Road near my house has indeed collapsed.
The night before last, North Columbus received about 5 inches of rain in some parts in a 2 hour period, according to my rain gauge. The creek that is a branch of the Chattahoochee River that runs through Green Island, Brookstone, and out towards Double Churches Road obviously had too much water flowing through it, which damages the large concrete culvert that runs under the bridge, which caused the bridge and asphalt to collapse.
This has greatly inconvenienced me since I live in this socially acceptable area. I walk down Mobley Road when I go on my walks. I have to detour through socially less fortunate areas just to get downtown. How very dare they.
They better fix this problem fast and do it right.
image sources: [Ledger-Enquirer, WTVM, yours truly]
The night before last, North Columbus received about 5 inches of rain in some parts in a 2 hour period, according to my rain gauge. The creek that is a branch of the Chattahoochee River that runs through Green Island, Brookstone, and out towards Double Churches Road obviously had too much water flowing through it, which damages the large concrete culvert that runs under the bridge, which caused the bridge and asphalt to collapse.
image sources: [Ledger-Enquirer, WTVM, yours truly]
Monday, September 19, 2011
Bon Voyage.
Notice my matching luxury executive luggage with the genuine leather embellishments and initials. I do like to travel in style and let everyone know that I have in fact arrived.
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Socially Acceptable Things I Must Have.
These glass sculptures are from Chic Evolution in Art displayed at Neiman Marcus.
Gucci Backpack at Neiman Marcus. It's only $950 and very exclusive. Of course, I would like a larger size.
This is the chair that has been calling my name since I was born. Luxurious, smashing, exquisite, it's so ME! I would tell you the price, but if you have to ask, you can't afford it. Get off my blog.
I want the fish.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Madonna Loathes Hydrangeas
Say it isn't so, Madge!
A fan actually had the courage to go up to Madonna and give her a flower. What does she do? She rolls her eyes and mutters, "I absolutely loathe hydrangeas. He obviously doesn't know that."
Wow.
That poor fan probably went home thinking he was on top of the world, and probably has seen this video tonight, and now he's probably locked himself in his bathroom, and cutting his wrists with the 5 copies of the Immaculate Collection CD after he realized Madonna's love for him was OVAH.
Me? I am a fan of Madonna's music, but I am not a fan of Madonna as a person. I think this proves why. Ever year, her true colors come out more and more. By 2020, her colors will have come out of the closet wearing earrings, a caftan, and pearl-clutching Liza Minelli's latest album, Liza Minelli's Corpse Sings The Music of Judy Garland.
Of course, the one thing that pounds into my mind like Momma's mussy being pounded on a Saturday night after she visits Fox's Cinema on Victory Drive, is that of course I would absolutely be devastated if Barbra Joan Streisand did something comparable to this after I gave her a gift. I'd be just devastated. Devastated wouldn't even begin to describe how just devastated I would be.
Picture it. Atlanta. 2013. I can see myself at a Bojangles drive-thru checking out the latest news on my glass iPhone 7, when all of a sudden a video of Barbra Streisand surfaces talking about "that fat kid had the nerve to ask me to take a photograph with me while he was wearing an orange t-shirt, mind you." I would instantly floor my Mercedes V12 into the car in front of me.
I would start driving like a Jehovah's Witness out of Heaven after they got kicked out for being just straight up annoying. I would drive worse than Billy Joel after he got a glimpse of himself in the rear-view mirror. This would gain national media coverage as I drove myself cross country in high speed pursuit to Malibu, where I would beg for forgiveness from The Holy Messiah of Buttah. Tragically, my margarine fountain would have sploshed all over the back seat by then. (Do they make margarine fountains? If they make fondue fountains, I don't understand why I couldn't have a margarine fountain.) Moreover, I would be doing this all why wearing Morticia Addams's black dress and veil. Tammy Faye Bakker would be appalled, along with Sheridan, of the mascara that would be running from my tear stained eyes.
[image sources]: zimbio.com
A fan actually had the courage to go up to Madonna and give her a flower. What does she do? She rolls her eyes and mutters, "I absolutely loathe hydrangeas. He obviously doesn't know that."
Wow.
That poor fan probably went home thinking he was on top of the world, and probably has seen this video tonight, and now he's probably locked himself in his bathroom, and cutting his wrists with the 5 copies of the Immaculate Collection CD after he realized Madonna's love for him was OVAH.
Me? I am a fan of Madonna's music, but I am not a fan of Madonna as a person. I think this proves why. Ever year, her true colors come out more and more. By 2020, her colors will have come out of the closet wearing earrings, a caftan, and pearl-clutching Liza Minelli's latest album, Liza Minelli's Corpse Sings The Music of Judy Garland.
Of course, the one thing that pounds into my mind like Momma's mussy being pounded on a Saturday night after she visits Fox's Cinema on Victory Drive, is that of course I would absolutely be devastated if Barbra Joan Streisand did something comparable to this after I gave her a gift. I'd be just devastated. Devastated wouldn't even begin to describe how just devastated I would be.
This is Momma.
Picture it. Atlanta. 2013. I can see myself at a Bojangles drive-thru checking out the latest news on my glass iPhone 7, when all of a sudden a video of Barbra Streisand surfaces talking about "that fat kid had the nerve to ask me to take a photograph with me while he was wearing an orange t-shirt, mind you." I would instantly floor my Mercedes V12 into the car in front of me.
I would start driving like a Jehovah's Witness out of Heaven after they got kicked out for being just straight up annoying. I would drive worse than Billy Joel after he got a glimpse of himself in the rear-view mirror. This would gain national media coverage as I drove myself cross country in high speed pursuit to Malibu, where I would beg for forgiveness from The Holy Messiah of Buttah. Tragically, my margarine fountain would have sploshed all over the back seat by then. (Do they make margarine fountains? If they make fondue fountains, I don't understand why I couldn't have a margarine fountain.) Moreover, I would be doing this all why wearing Morticia Addams's black dress and veil. Tammy Faye Bakker would be appalled, along with Sheridan, of the mascara that would be running from my tear stained eyes.
[image sources]: zimbio.com
Thursday, September 1, 2011
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