A fan actually had the courage to go up to Madonna and give her a flower. What does she do? She rolls her eyes and mutters, "I absolutely loathe hydrangeas. He obviously doesn't know that."
Wow.
That poor fan probably went home thinking he was on top of the world, and probably has seen this video tonight, and now he's probably locked himself in his bathroom, and cutting his wrists with the 5 copies of the Immaculate Collection CD after he realized Madonna's love for him was OVAH.
Me? I am a fan of Madonna's music, but I am not a fan of Madonna as a person. I think this proves why. Ever year, her true colors come out more and more. By 2020, her colors will have come out of the closet wearing earrings, a caftan, and pearl-clutching Liza Minelli's latest album, Liza Minelli's Corpse Sings The Music of Judy Garland.
Of course, the one thing that pounds into my mind like Momma's mussy being pounded on a Saturday night after she visits Fox's Cinema on Victory Drive, is that of course I would absolutely be devastated if Barbra Joan Streisand did something comparable to this after I gave her a gift. I'd be just devastated. Devastated wouldn't even begin to describe how just devastated I would be.
This is Momma.
Picture it. Atlanta. 2013. I can see myself at a Bojangles drive-thru checking out the latest news on my glass iPhone 7, when all of a sudden a video of Barbra Streisand surfaces talking about "that fat kid had the nerve to ask me to take a photograph with me while he was wearing an orange t-shirt, mind you." I would instantly floor my Mercedes V12 into the car in front of me.
I would start driving like a Jehovah's Witness out of Heaven after they got kicked out for being just straight up annoying. I would drive worse than Billy Joel after he got a glimpse of himself in the rear-view mirror. This would gain national media coverage as I drove myself cross country in high speed pursuit to Malibu, where I would beg for forgiveness from The Holy Messiah of Buttah. Tragically, my margarine fountain would have sploshed all over the back seat by then. (Do they make margarine fountains? If they make fondue fountains, I don't understand why I couldn't have a margarine fountain.) Moreover, I would be doing this all why wearing Morticia Addams's black dress and veil. Tammy Faye Bakker would be appalled, along with Sheridan, of the mascara that would be running from my tear stained eyes.
[image sources]: zimbio.com
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